How to Plan an Elopement With Family
Can You Elope With Family and Friends?
Yes. A family elopement includes immediate family or close friends while keeping the day intimate, personal, and free from the pressure of a traditional wedding.
I’m Sean, and about half of my elopements include family. It’s totally normal if you can’t imagine getting married without the most important people in your life. If it makes you feel better, you’re not alone! It’s an all-too-common dilemma for many couples who want to elope with family. But it doesn’t have to be an issue: You can totally have a family elopement without compromising on other important things like a hiking elopement. And my Colorado elopement packages work with or without guests!
Elopements have evolved since the days of a courthouse quickie ceremony. Your elopement can be as intimate or as inclusive to family and friends as you want! What makes an elopement special is that you get to consciously choose how and when to include your family members in a way that makes sense to you. You don’t have to bow to social pressure to do anything “traditionally.”
I’m here to guide you through ways to include your family in your elopement! Keep reading below for ideas, tips, and inspiration for your family elopement!
What are the best ways to elope with family and friends?
Popular options include a family processional, having a relative officiate, signing the marriage license together, or splitting the day into two parts.
Either way, read down the list and get inspired!
Do a processional
The bride’s father traditionally escorts his daughter down the aisle, but you can give tradition a twist for your family elopement. I’ve seen brides escorted by both parents, a brother, or even their son or daughter. Eloping with family is about celebrating your wedding exactly how you want, so give yourself permission to create the day that best represents you! This couple below did one for their Telluride elopement and it completely changed the feel of the ceremony.
Invite guests and make your elopement a family adventure
Just because the old image of elopement brings to mind drive-thru wedding chapels in Vegas, doesn’t mean that’s how you have to do it. You can still achieve the intimate, natural elopement you want while still surrounded by your closest family and friends. Your day will be unique, emotional, and one only the two of you could have created.
Just keep in mind you may need to adapt your location based on your guests’ physical abilities and ages. Another option I offer couples is an adventure session before or after their ceremony, exchange vows surrounded by family, then we’ll head out on a hike for a secluded photoshoot! This gives couples the best of both worlds. You can still elope with family, while also creating a private adventure to look back on with no regrets!
Break the day into two parts
This is probably the most popular option because you don’t have to compromise on your adventurous spirits! A lot of my Colorado elopements do something by themselves with me in the morning, maybe a hiking elopement with a private first look and private vows, followed by meeting back up with friends and family later for another ceremony or just family photos. Near Boulder, that usually means private vows on a hiking elopement at Lake Isabelle, then meeting family down the road.
This is really the best of both worlds for couples and families because you still get to have your own private adventure and your family still gets to be involved in your elopement. Win-Win baby!
Give your family an epic toast
Look, champagne showers aren’t just for Super Bowl-winning teams. They’ve become the norm for newlyweds, too, and I’m here for it! At elopements, I want couples to have authentic and timeless images of their day, and celebrating with an epic toast to their family is a great way to remember an amazing day. So let’s toast to those family and friends so they can relive your joyous moments through your photos!
Have a family member officiate your elopement
If you’re eloping with family, you can ask a parent or sibling to be your officiant, including them in a meaningful way while still keeping the number of close family members small. You may want a sibling or best friend to take on the role of Maid of Honor or Best Man and stand beside you.
An added benefit: Including a close family member will be a storyteller of your love moments, and someone to hold your tissues, fix your hair, and offer lots of love and family support for all the mushy parts.
Have your family sign your marriage license
Your incredible elopement is sure to be the highlight of your wedding day, and there’s an additional opportunity to include your family in the legal aspect if you aren’t using self-solemnization in Colorado. While the specifics of signing a marriage license can differ across states, you’ll still need those essential signatures to officially seal the deal on your big day!
You could ask people in your immediate family like your parents, siblings, or even your best friends to sign your marriage license. This is a great way to include family in an elopement without actually bringing them along on the trail!
The couple below had their friends sign their marriage license after their elopement in Breckenridge, Colorado.
Plan an elopement first look with family
If you are eloping with family, invite them to be part of your first look! For some couples, this is their first intimate, emotional experience as a couple on their wedding day, and it makes for some amazing reactions! Just imagine how great it could be if your mom or dad were there too! You can even share a first look with some of your closest friends. This is one of my favorite and easiest ways to include family members in your elopement.
Have a family member help you get ready
When it comes to family elopements, having your crew by your side can be an absolute game-changer! I’m talking about enlisting your nearest and dearest to help you get dolled up for your big day. It’s like having your own personal cheer squad right there with you, ready to tackle any wedding day jitters head-on! So, pick your ride-or-die squad to join in on the elopement prep party! And let me tell ya, those candid getting-ready shots? Pure gold. Trust me, you’ll be thanking yourself when you’re flipping through those memories down the line!
Share the first dance with a family member
First dances are traditional with the couple but you can absolutely mix it up and share it with a family member. These are some of the best and most memorable photos from every family elopement and the emotions are through the roof! You can either share the first dance with your mom or dad or even another family member that means a lot to you. A lot of times my couples will share this moment at their Airbnb or after their ceremony!
Rent a ceremony spot for family
You know what’ll make your elopement with family a whole lot easier? Renting out a designated spot where you can host your crew for the ceremony, family photos, and even a little reception. It’s a game-changer. It gives you a private time slot to dodge the crowds, helps you plan everything smoothly with your guests, keeps everything in one spot, and even cuts down on the environmental impact of using public lands. Places to look for include Airbnbs for elopements, campsites, campgrounds, national forest spots, or even national parks like Rocky Mountain National Park, which has designated areas for families. Yosemite works the same way. My Yosemite elopement guide covers which ceremony sites fit bigger groups. Win-win!
Have your family welcome you back
This is a great option for couples who want to do something by themselves while still keeping their families involved. You can have them wait for you after your elopement and celebrate your day with streamers and bubbles as you walk down your makeshift aisle like the couple in the photo below from their Ouray elopement. Such a fun option for those looking to include their families in their elopement!
Plan a family reception
Planning a reception with your blended family is really the “best of both worlds” option. Keep your outdoor wedding private and intimate, and then throw either a second ceremony or just a party for family and friends later! (This is the most common option couples choose.)
Remember, you can do this however you want. Maybe you want to say your private vows alone in nature with your partner, and then say some more traditional vows in your second family ceremony. Maybe you only want to have one intimate ceremony, but then have your family there to witness your cake cutting and first dance. Or you can just do your own thing and have a full-on reception later.
There are a ton of different ways to do this, but remember to give yourself permission to do exactly what speaks to you as a couple!
Ask a family member to play a song
Got a song that hits you right in the feels and you want to make it a centerpiece of your elopement? Well, why not dial up the personal touch and enlist a talented family member to strum it out for you? I’m talking about turning to that cousin with the magic fingers on the guitar or that aunt who can tickle the ivories like nobody’s business! Having someone close to you belt out your favorite tune adds a whole new level of intimacy to your special day. It’s like wrapping your love story in a musical embrace! Plus, it’s a sweet nod to that person who’s always had your back. So go ahead, let the music play and let the love flow!
Shotgun a beer
Ok, I know this one isn’t for everyone, but shotgunning a beer with your family is not only fun and memorable, but also a great way to bond and create hilarious stories through photos to tell for years to come. So pick out your favorite beer, line up your family members, and get ready to poke some holes in those cans. Cheers to love, laughter, and a little bit of beer!
Have separate photos with your kids
Are you guys some rad parents that want to include your kids in your elopement? I recommend doing a side photoshoot with them! This is a great way for you to still have your own adventure, while still having the kiddos join at some point.
How to elope with family when they aren’t there?
If family can’t make it in person, a written letter, a pre-recorded video message, or a live FaceTime call during the ceremony are all easy ways to include them anyway.
However, it’s entirely possible to have your family and friends be a part of your wedding day in various ways, even if you opt not to have them there on the day. Sometimes family members are unable to attend the ceremony of your elopement, or perhaps you simply desire a private adventure for yourselves. But that doesn’t mean you can’t include them in your elopement in other ways. Keep reading for how to include family in your elopement when they aren’t there in person!
Read an elopement letter from family
This is a new and fun way to include your family in your elopement. The idea is super easy as you ask your family and friends to write you a letter for you to read on your elopement. The letter can include blessings and wishes on your big day and future or they can write about their favorite memories you shared together. Either way, it’s a fun and emotional way to include your family in your elopement!
Have your family send you a video message
This is a fun option to have your family or friends prepare a premade video for you to watch on your elopement. They can either share some kind words, share stories, or even give you a toast! There really isn’t a wrong way for them to share a video with you and it’s a great way to include family on your elopement with a modern twist!
Use FaceTime or Skype
I’m generally a big fan of being disconnected and present on wedding days, but sometimes you have to embrace the technology! If your immediate family can’t join in person then you can invite them to join via FaceTime or ask them to send you a short video. This is a great way to include family in your elopement without actually having them present. This still allows you to share those special moments with a modern twist.
Family Elopement FAQ
There’s no single legal cap for how many family members can join your elopement; it depends on the location. Public and wilderness land often allows small groups without a permit, usually somewhere in the 8-15 range, with a separate large-group permit required above that. Private venues, Airbnbs, and campground rentals set their own limits. If you already know your spot, check that location’s specific guide on this site for the exact number, or ask me directly when we’re planning.
They overlap a lot, and honestly the line is more about feel than a hard rule. An elopement with family usually keeps the structure loose: private vows, an adventurous location, minimal formality, even if a handful of people are there. A wedding with immediate family only usually keeps more of the traditional shape, an officiant, a set ceremony order, sometimes a small reception, just with a short guest list. If you want the adventure and the intimacy without the traditional script, that’s the elopement side of that line.
No. Having family sign anyway is purely a nice-to-have, a way to include them in the legal side of the day even if they can’t be at the location itself.
Carefully, and usually sooner rather than later. I’ve got a full breakdown of how to have that conversation, including how to handle the couples who worry about hurt feelings, in my guide to telling family and friends you’re eloping.
Almost never, in my experience. Most couples who skip family tell me the opposite: relief. No managing anyone else’s opinions on your dress or your vows, just the two of you, fully present. A few do wish they’d made one phone call the same day so nobody felt shut out entirely. If total privacy is what you want but you’re worried about leaving people out, the letter, video, or FaceTime options above solve that without changing your ceremony at all.
Family Elopement Galleries
Need a little inspiration for including your family on your elopement? Check out these stunners for what your day could look like! But remember, each day is crafted uniquely for each couple, so these galleries are meant as inspiration and starting points!
Sean Oblizalo is an elopement photographer and planner based in Denver, Colorado. He founded Vows & Peaks in 2018 and doesn’t just show up with a camera. He plans your day, scouts the spot, handles the permits, and helps create epic mountain adventures for couples